Thank You, Dr. Sondheim
by Andrew J. Fox
I have discovered something that I thought I would share with you all. You can save tons and tons of money by knowing the songs of Stephen Sondheim. This is NOT a spam, it is totally true. How? Well, you can save money by using Stephen Sondheim songs instead of therapy.
I wouldn't believe it myself, except that one day it happened to me...
It was one of those weeks, and I was completely stressed out. At the time I had been watching the Bette Midler version of Gypsy, and found myself singing the songs often. Well, this particular day, I was really worked up and the cd of Gypsy was playing in my room. It set something off, and I began singing "Rose's Turn" at the top of my lungs. (I often sing to relieve stress.) Well, it was a particularly bravaura performance, if I do say so myself, until about halfway through. I began changing the words, singing lyrics that had to do with my life. They didn't really make any sense to anyone, except to me. Hell, they didn't even rhyme! Yet, when it was all done, I felt sooooo much better about life. I began laughing, and all my stress was gone. There was only one witness, my poor girlfriend, and to this day she doesn't like to talk about the experience.
But, think about it. You're angry at your lover and you are about to say things you don't mean. Instead you go into your room, slam the door, and belt out "We Do Not Belong Together". "Could I Leave You?" also fits nicely in this spot.
Do you have someone at work or school that you just cannot stand? Singing "The Ladies Who Lunch" quietly to yourself just might to the trick in ridding yourself of any unwanted stress. Ever feel really, giddily happy and you just want to sing? "Lovely" or "It's A Hit!" should do the trick, although "Mr. Goldstone", "I Feel Pretty", and oddly enough, "How I Saved Roosevelt" all work fine.
So you see, now you can justify all those hours spent singing songs,all that money spent on cds and vocal scores, all those nights making sure you know EVERY SINGLE LYRIC to EVERY SINGLE SONG by writing them all out before you go to bed (or is that just me?). All that time and effort can be justified by saying "It's therapy".
And this way, you never have to worry about hearing "I'm sorry, your time is up." Of course, power failures and dead batteriescould be a problem.....
The works of Stephen Sondheim, improved mental health, AND saving money. What could be better? (Oh sorry, that's a different composer all together!)
One word of caution: If you hear voices in your head going "Bobby...Bobby...Bobby Baby...." and you've never even heard Company, then you might want to find some other form of therapy.